As the Jewish people, we must understand that our most prized possession on this earth is the ability to serve H-shem and to study Torah. It isn’t about all the money, clothes, or cars in the world. It’s simply about serving H-shem wherever we may be and wherever we are.
During the six years I spent in federal prison, I witnessed and felt first-hand what it is to go through unimaginable pain and suffering. Prison is the most inhumane place that a human can be placed in. Who in their right mind would put another human being in an 8 x 11-foot cell for 24 hours a day? No fresh air, no sunlight, and no one to communicate with. No punishment is justified by prison.
Neither Here Nor There
But that is neither here nor there. This is the world that we live in. And unfortunately, there are many Jews who have made mistakes. They committed crimes and are now spending 5, 10, and 20-plus years in prison.
And through my experience in prison, I realized that prison is no place for a Jewish soul. But a Jewish soul is precisely where it is supposed to be. In such a hopeless place, I had to internalize that the only way to survive this painful physical situation was to serve H-shem with my entire essence. It didn’t matter that I was in prison because that is precisely where H-shem wanted me to be.
We believe that H-shem does everything for good, and He is actively in control of the world. I had to understand that if H-shem is in control of the world, He commanded us in his Torah to embrace and guard it with all our strength. Even though I was in such a dark and dangerous place, I was not exempt from following the Torah. And not only was I not exempt but I was still commanded to be the best Jew I could be to H-shem, just like any other Jew.
Beautiful Story
There is a beautiful story I must tell about a fellow Jew of mine. He learned in prison what a truly prized possession is. For the sake of anonymity, we will call his name Jacob. Unfortunately, Jacob was sentenced to 25 years in prison, and he already did 10 years. This took a toll on him and continues to weigh heavily on him every day. And because of this stress and suffering he endured, Jacob would often find himself in trouble. He would do drugs and break the rules in prison.
One day, Jacob was caught breaking a prison rule. He was placed in what we call the “shu,” short for the “special housing unit.” In the shu, an inmate can spend anywhere from two weeks to one year in solitary confinement. 24 hours a day. Baruch H-shem, I have never been, but I hear it’s a terrible experience.
He Served H-shem With Everything He Had
But one thing about Jacob, even though he struggled with an intense internal battle, falling prey to the yetzer hara many times, he served H-shem with everything he had. He got back up and punched the yetzer hara in the mouth. I’ve never witnessed someone who made so many mistakes while at the same time sincerely serving H-shem with so much love. Jacob’s heart was so attached and longing for H-shem. It reminded me of David Hamelech, who made mistakes but loved H-shem on such a high level.
So as Jacob was in the shu, he didn’t dwell on his bad behavior. He didn’t think about how he fell again to the yetzer hara. No, what did he do? He remembered that a Jew gets back up on his feet. So he immediately asked the guard for his tefillin because he hadn’t prayed yet today. The guard gave him a bit of a hard time, but Jacob made a lot of noise. “It’s my religious rights!” he yelled.
And in prison, no matter what the case, we must be allowed to practice our religion. The guard didn’t want to get in trouble, so he called the head chaplain of religious services, who happened to be an orthodox Jewish rabbi from Chabad. He worked at the prison 4 days a week to ensure that all the inmates’ religious services were met. And as a Jew, we were truly blessed to have him. He did his job in such a beautiful way that he cared for all the inmates while secretly making the Jews his priority.
Rabbi On A Mission
The guard called the rabbi down to the shu.
“This guy’s asking for something called tefillin,” he told the rabbi carelessly.
The rabbi immediately came down to the shu with tefillin. As he handed the tefillin to Jacob, the guard rudely put his hand in the way to stop the transaction.
“What is this crap,” the guard said.
And with a beam of the fire of the service of H-shem in his eyes, the rabbi exclaimed to the guard, “This right here, this is a Jew’s most prized possession!” He handed Jacob the tefillin, eyed the guard down, and walked away. The rabbi didn’t care that he was a staff member of the federal prison. At that moment, he was also in prison with his fellow Jew, no longer the chaplain.
This moment gave Jacob great joy. He knew the importance of the mitzvot, and he knew he needed to pray and study. But he was reminded that with those little leather phylacteries costing a mere few hundred dollars, a Jew can go to unimaginable heights. He can connect to H-shem on such a deep level, something this guard could never and never will understand.
May we only seek out the true prize, the prize of the Torah and the service of H-shem. Others will spend their lifetime chasing futilities, honor, money, and wealth. Still, we, the Jewish people, chase after the treasures for our eternal souls. And we serve H-shem with all our might, in pain and suffering, the same that we would do in wealth and in peace.